On Tuesday, September 4, the Donald Trump Weather Association (DTWA) predicted that Hurricane Dorian would hit Alabama. Sadly the DTWA didn’t have time to update the map before the announcement, so they drew the addition in sharpie. Unfortunately their guess was right on target and Alabama had a light drizzle the following Friday night. This week the (DTWA) has spotted a new hurricane that will only be hitting WIS. Due to the accuracy of past reports, we at Dateline have decided to take this very seriously. The best way to stay safe in the event of a hurricane is to be prepared. Here are some tips we highly recommend following in order to stay safe during the hurricane.
1.Bring a charger to school. Your private story will miss out on endless material if your phone runs out of battery. If you forget a charger and your phone is low on battery, DON’T PANIC, run to your closest charging station as fast as possible and rip out a charger.
2.If you have a bottom locker use Flex Seal tape to cover the edges. You don’t want the “Get to Know You” worksheets from the first day of school to be ruined by water.
3.If you find that your laptop is low on battery and you don’t have a charger, DO NOT PANIC. Do the same thing you did with the phone charging stations, but instead run to the computer cart and push your laptop around the school while it’s charging in the cart.
4.Dress appropriately. The worst time to get dress coded is when you’re stuck at school during a hurricane. Here are some examples of what might be appropriate.
5. Make sure to bring headphones, or if you have them, AirPods (even a hurricane won’t stop the flex). It’s likely you’ll be trapped at school for a while. If it hasn’t already, by the end of the day the sound of the new bell will make you want to tear your hair out. Save yourself from the trauma and bring headphones to school.
6. Don’t walk near the Klingle Stream. According to the DTWA there may be sharks swimming in the stream. In the unlikely case that you get bitten by one of the sharks, quickly go to the nurse’s office where they have Advil to treat the wound.
7.During the hurricane, it might be hard to evacuate if you are a weaker swimmer. But fear not, the WIS swim team will come to the rescue. It might be hard to find the team’s four members around campus, but the stench of chlorine and outdated merch will give them away.
8.This tip is for freshmen and sophomores. Ready.gov’s hurricane tips list states “Don’t walk through floodwaters. Just turn around. Don’t drown!” However, this advice does not apply in the rare circumstance that you’re evacuating the second floor of the mansion and there are floodwaters ahead. DO NOT go into Davies Hall. There is a 32% chance of survival if you keep walking into the floodwaters and a 100% chance of the juniors feeding you to the sharks if you step a foot into Davies Hall. Stay safe, and walk through the flood waters.
By Maya Lopez