The results of the International Student Union elections are in, and WIS has its most diverse cabinet in years! The president-elects are juniors Blaise Malley and Kyle MacMillan, the secretary-elect is sophomore Victor Wallemacq, the treasurer-elect is Andre Gardiner, and the spirit coordinator-elect is Jack Payne.

In a series of rousing speeches, this year’s winning candidates captivated the audience and convinced them to give them their votes. Particularly moving speeches included Wallemacq’s, with its powerful message of “thanks for not opposing me, I guess.” Gardiner, too, had a rousing speech complete with friends “makin’ it rain” on the audience – reminding us that this was the man who was now responsible for our student body’s money.

There was no shortage of spirit in Payne’s speech, as he took the stage with his friend Matteo Schlitz in an original speech reminiscent of Key and Peele’s “Obama’s Anger Translator.” In a series of enthusiastic “wooooo’s”, Payne communicated his message while performing a chain of supposedly intimidating poses. The only thing missing from his speech was a backwards baseball cap, a red solo cup, and a shirt emblazoned with three greek letters.

The speeches concluded with the candidates running for president, with Malley and MacMillan performing a stand-up comedy routine/gymnastics exhibition about nets that was met with a roar of applause and the occasional statement of “Blaise is a god among men.” By the end of the day, Malley and MacMillan’s cabinet positions were secured as you, the student body, did indeed help them help you help them.

Caricatures by Jonathan He