“The school needs to fix it,” Stuart Campbell-Jordan said. Students and faculty alike agree that classes should not be hosted in an ice cave. Fluctuating temperatures have long plagued Tregaron Campus’ Mansion and Carriage House. 

“The air conditioning should have been left in the 1900s with the carriages,” Campbell-Jordan remarked icily. “My house has better AC, and it was built in the 1840s.” 

Despite the apparent function of the machinery, as denoted by its constant droning, no actual temperature control takes place. 

“I feel like I’m in an airport when I’m in the Mansion [because] there’s so much noise,” one student stated. He added that because of his ADHD, the AC’s ambient noise often distracts him. 

Many students can vouch that the white noise often lulls people to sleep. The only thing that wakes them is the biting cold. However, those who wear flannels and snow pants often miss the entire class as the frigid temperatures do not wake them from their slumber. 

As it stands, the school need not worry about scandalous clothing as people are too cold to wear anything but ski gear to school. Some students have taken to wearing apparel such as winter sweaters, ski jackets, and even, albeit rarely, pajama onesies.  

Science teachers should start leaving the fetal pigs out without properly preserving them, as the Carriage House closely resembles a meat locker when it comes to temperature. 

However, there are potential downsides to the ambient temperature being so low. After all, the Carriage House is the one building where the temperature is directly linked to students’ education. Upon returning the samples you’re using for your biology Internal Assessment (IA), you might find them frozen. 

 As it stands, the school administration should consider changing the school motto to “Winter is coming,” as it would be more appropriate.

By Finn Porter & Kai von Lipsey